If you’re a long-time reader of this blog, you’ve no doubt experienced the gamut of nutty Halloween hysteria from the usual suspects. One particularly ridiculous article popped up briefly to embarrass Pat Robertson’s CBN. The silly screed was yanked after catching the attention of a few political blogs, but is just too good to pass up all the same. You can see the cached version here. According to the author, Halloween is a celebration of the “Satanic harvest,” (harvest of what, black jellybeans?) where witches gather to have wild revels (great), demonic sex (why?), and plant time-release curses on millions of pounds of Halloween candy, for reasons that are not elaborated. While absorbing many strange meandering thoughts I learned:
- That witches use Halloween to worship
SatanMother earththeCorn God and Harvest Lordgods of the elements - Pumpkins used as decorations invariably contain demons
- Jesus isn’t fooled by namby-pamby “harvest festivals”
- You can never use too many biblical cliches
- Standing around bonfires is the same as having a ‘familiar spirit’
More: Halloween Hysteria
